Salad Guy

Stock-boys and coupon lunatics
and irate insults fly
Checkouts, clean-up in aisle five
and they barely seem they’re alive
Shelves to stock and floors to clean
boredom makes the shift seem longer
But just when you think you’ve seen it all
in walks the infamous Salad Guy…

Salad Guy, make no mistake, he ain’t waiting
for what else that you got to say
He’ll entertain, but you won’t see him,
if for a moment you turn away
Salad Guy, thank you for shopping here
you give us something to hope for
And, as your three bucks hit the countertop,
your back is turned
with one foot out the door

We all need to explore the unknown
stop and look when the strange goes by
I guess that’s why this produce legend
has made him the Salad Guy
Talk, dark and mysterious
is all the night-shift sees
But without this retail tall-tale
he’s just a guy
a guy like you and me

Where Salad Guy goes home at night
is something I just speculate on
He exercised his salad rights
and that is all the information
I can provide on salad guy

He’s too quick for the scanners
or to tell him it’s two-ninety-nine
by the time you turn you head
dollars lay there with no one else on line